


Nightmares

by mildlyproductivetrashbag



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Comfort, Gen, Insomnia, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 22:50:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15326136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildlyproductivetrashbag/pseuds/mildlyproductivetrashbag
Summary: Laurent has some trouble sleeping. Lucina isn't about to let the problem go without a proper conversation.





	Nightmares

Laurent had always had a problem with sleep. When he was young, he thought it was waste of time. Why bother with something as mundane as rest when he could be doing something infinitely more interesting?

This problem had always been a major point of contention between him and his parents, even though their arguments would almost always end in a stalemate. Miriel couldn’t exactly take the high ground, considering she had equally abominable sleeping habits, if not worse. Chrom couldn’t effectively argue with him either. His duties as the Exalt often forced him to work past reasonable times. Sometimes, he would even forgo rest altogether.

In spite of their horrible sleep schedules, they still managed to ‘convince’ him to go to sleep early. That practice did not rid him of his insomnia. If anything, it only exacerbated it. He would go out of his way to stay up late, if only to prove to his parents that he could handle it.

While he eventually grew out of  _that_  habit, his hatred for sleep did not diminish. It only followed him well into adulthood.

When Grima awakened for the first time and razed the world to the ground, he had even less reason to sleep. There was always too much work to be done, too many plans to make, and too many monsters to fight. It became an endless, repetitive cycle of duties which he could not break. There was no time for trivial activities, and at that time, sleep  _had_  become trivial. He couldn’t afford to indulge in rest. He had to keep fighting; not just for his sake, but also for the world’s.

Looking back at that time in his life, he realizes it may have been his lowest point. His parents’ death had sent him spiraling into a dangerous abyss of self-destruction. The healthy passion he normally had for his work dissipated, and was replaced by a seemingly endless supply of manic energy which enabled him to stay up for several days at a time.

The change did not go unnoticed. His allies began to worry, whispering words of concern and doubt behind his back, when they thought he couldn’t hear.

He didn’t-  _couldn’t_ care less.

Laurent threw himself into his work, lest his own grief consume him. He buried his problems under maps and tomes and bodies; anything was more preferable than having to confront his own emotions. He tried to pull himself together using his own willpower alone. And all that time, he kept thinking that he had to be strong, he had to remain firm and steady in a world which had crumbled apart. The fate of Ylisse had fallen to him and Lucina, and he did not want his sister to bear any more of the burden than she already did.

But he couldn’t maintain such a state for long. It all came to a head when he collapsed during a battle.

His memories of the event are lacking. All he can remember was preparing to use a tome, then blacking out. The next thing he knew, he woke up to Lucina’s concerned expression. Her mouth was pressed into a thin line, and her brow was creased. When she asked what he remembered, he answered honestly. Nothing. Lucina was then kind enough to ‘remind’ him.

And when he says ‘remind’, he means Lucina recounted his collapse with several reprimands in between each sentence. By the time she had finished, Laurent had felt like a child again, being scolded by Miriel. Lucina definitely inherited their mother’s terrifying glare

Laurent couldn’t even summon the will to defend himself. His sister had sufficient reason to be upset after all.

According to her, she had already noticed his odd movements when the battle started. He had been swaying from side to side, mimicking a drunkard’s gait. A moment later, he had collapsed, leaving him completely vulnerable to attacks.

Thankfully, Gerome had swooped in on Minerva and had saved him. It was only through pure luck that the wyvern rider had even been near enough to help, before any real harm could be inflicted upon him.

Laurent will never forget the flush of shame and guilt which had crept up his spine in that moment. He had jeopardized the battle, his friends and himself, because of his own recklessness. When Lucina begged him to take better care of himself, he immediately acquiesced. He swore to her he would never let such a situation ever occur again. Anything to avoid causing her more pain.

For the most part, he made good on his promise. He never collapsed out of exhaustion ever again, but his sleeplessness continued to persist. It was unfortunate, but unavoidable. Again, there was just too much work to be done. Their little army fought battles day in and day out. Whatever free time they had would either be devoted to planning or desperately trying to catch a single hour of rest.  

Sleep came even less easy to him. As if his distaste for the activity wasn’t enough, he now had  _nightmares_ to contend with.

The damnable things plagued him at night, taking from him whatever rest or enjoyment he might have derived from sleep. He would often find himself jerking up from his bed, heart racing and breathing hard. His nightmares were usually a confounding mixture of memories and his greatest fears. They blended together in his mind to create a truly horrific show for him to watch helplessly as he slept.

His nightmares would then linger at the back of his mind for the rest of the day. They left him in a terrible mood, unable to focus and having a quicker temper than normal. To say it was unpleasant would have been an understatement.

They grew even worse, something he didn’t even imagine was possible, when he went back in time. Two years spent wandering the lands all alone certainly did not make his mental state any better.

His eventual reunion with his friends did not stop his nightmares. They didn’t disappear either when Grima was finally defeated. Even the Fell Dragon’s death was not sufficient to dispel his nightly terrors. Then again, he’s not sure he why expected them to disappear along with Grima. It was a ridiculous notion, but the desperate part of himself  _had_  hoped.

There was nothing he could do. So he remained silent about his nightmares, even going as far as to move to a different room to prevent other people from his involuntary screams. For a time, he actually thought he would succeed with his deception.

He should have known it wouldn’t last. Lucina eventually confronted him about it. Trust his sister to deal with it in such a straightforward manner.

She had knocked gently at the door of his room one night, after a particularly bad nightmare. Laurent had been reluctant to let her in, but she had refused to take no for an answer. So he composed himself, wiped away any errant tears, and put on his normal, serious, expression.

“Laurent,” Lucina said, brows furrowing at the sight of her brother looking so disheveled, “Are you alright?” She stepped further into his room, the moonlight dancing across her features. She started to reach for him, but held back when he turned away.

“I am in exceptional condition, sister,” he said, feigning confusion to ensure she would suspect nothing. “Why do you ask?”

Lucina crossed her arms. “Because I could hear you calling for help,” she explained, not looking at all convinced by his expression. “Due to the repairs in my quarters, I was moved to the room next to yours. I could hear everything.”

Laurent froze. He had gone to great lengths to prevent knowledge of his nightly terrors from reaching anyone else, and now all his efforts had just been destroyed.

“I’ll ask you again,” Lucina said gently, using a tone one might use when talking to a skittish animal, “Are you alright? And please don’t insult me  _or_  yourself by trying to lie.” She quirked an eyebrow. “We both know you’re a terrible liar.”

Had this been any other day, Laurent would have argued, defended himself, he might have even forced Lucina out of his room. But today? Today, Laurent was tired. It was more than just a physical fatigue. A bone deep exhaustion had settled into his body, borne out of years of hardship and misery and loneliness, and he found himself devoid of any motivation to do anything.

Besides, if he was going to tell anyone about this, it might as well have been Lucina. If anyone could understand his situation, it would be her.

He started simple. His nightmares.

He moved aside and patted the space beside him, a clear invitation for her to sit with him on his bed. Lucina’s eyes brightened, glad that he wasn’t pushing her away. Laurent removed his glasses, and wiped them down using a handkerchief inside his bedside drawer.

“I,” Laurent began, trying to lose himself in the repetitive motion of cleaning is glasses, “have been experiencing nightmares for a certain period of time.”

Lucina nodded in understanding. “I know,” she said, much to Laurent’s shock.

“What?” Laurent asked sharply. He tensed involuntarily. Who else knew? Did they think him weak? How would they treat him-

“Laurent?  _Laurent!”_ He returned to his senses and found Lucina clutching his shoulders, trying to bring him out of his daze. His chest felt tight, and his breaths came out in short, quick, gasps. He vaguely registered the sound of something metallic falling to the ground, and absently remembered his glasses. He hoped they weren’t damaged. “Breathe,” she said, simulating the process by lifting her hand up and down in front of her chest. “Calm down. Listen to the sound of my voice, brother.”

They remained in that position until Laurent could calm down once more. “Forgive me. I did not anticipate your knowledge of my problems.” He removed her hands from his shoulders and smiled at her tentatively. “Thank you for your help.”

Lucina tried to smile back, but her lips trembled, deceiving no one. “You don’t need to thank me. It’s my duty as your sister to make sure you’re always alright.”

“It should not be,” he said firmly, “You already have a significant amount of responsibilities as it is. I have no wish to add more.”

Lucina smacked him lightly on the arm. “Don’t say that. You are no burden for me to bear. You only need ask for my help, and I will come.” Sincerity and a promise of better days ahead shined through her words. “Now,” she continued, “Why don’t you tell me more of what has been plaguing you these last few years?”

They conversed well into the early hours of the next day. A weight had been lifted from Laurent’s chest, and for once, he felt at peace.


End file.
